The Dreaded English Driving Test

Mosiah 4:12 . . . and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

Elder Blain has been pouring over the thick driver's manual and taking practice tests since we arrived.  He got a temporary driver's license based on the one he had from the states, but is required by the mission to pass the theory test ASAP.  He has now studied 945 questions and missed 54.  If the 54 he missed on the practice test show up as a majority on the actual test, he shall fail miserably.  They do not look kindly upon flunkies here, but they don't help you much to NOT be one.

With pelican, toucan, puffin, zebra, and Pegasus crossings, along with regular cross walks, just figuring which one is which is a monumental task.  Well, the Pegasus and zebra are easy, since the one is way high so you can press the button when you are on your horse, and the other has black and white stripes on the poles.

The street signs are another matter.  There are around 233 signs, road marks, and signals you need to know (and flashing your lights to tell someone they are letting you go isn't even one of them!!).  Grant you, some of the signs are familiar because they aren't different that in the U.S., but the British are detail people and you'll find a sign for almost anything (as in look out for bird droppings--just kidding.  I'm sure if I went to the council and suggested such a sign, they'd consider it).

The towne council thing is no joke, though.  Some lady complained that car doors are being shut before 8 a.m. and after 10 p.m. in the church parking lot, so the council ruled in favor of the crack pot and there can be no evening or morning activities before or after those times so the ornery lady has virtually cancelled any New Year's Even parties and the like.  Geeeezzzz.

Now, all we have to do is get the Tiny Tim crutches out and have Elder Blain hobble to the nearest examination center to see if he has retained anything he studied (again, I'm just kidding 'cause his leg isn't to that point--yet).  I expect he'll pass because he doesn't get test anxiety.  Now me, well, that would be an entirely different matter and that is why I am not going to get a driver's license!  The only thing I worry about is him passing the parallel parking.  If they let him have four tries with me standing in the back to motion him on, he should pass with flying colours!

P.S.  Speaking of colours (Eng. spelling) and driving:  We saw in a paper that Elder Blain pulled out of the garbage bin that some guy was arrested for drinked-driving (Eng. term) while driving a pink Barbie car!  He is paying a hefty fine for this little joy ride.  The Barbie car belongs to his daughter and, since it is made for a three-year-old child, he was rather squashed into it.  It goes about 4 miles per hour.  He said he felt like a "twit" getting caught for it.  Duh.

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