Sunday, August 29, 2010

THE Talk is Over & Normalcy(?)Returns

Whew!  Thank you to all of you who offered up prayers on my behalf.  For those of you who couldn't figure out what the big deal was about me having to give a talk in Church on late notice, just put yourself at the edge of a cliff and stand there knowing you have to jump soon without getting the gear ready for protection and you might experience something close to what I feel about public presentations--especially the ones where there isn't proper time to get mentally and organizationally ready.

Yes, I am announcing that I have once again survived a talk in Sacrament Meeting (as you all knew I would--ridiculous me--please tell me no one has died from one yet).  As per operational mode, I was running on an over abundance of adrenaline to the extent I couldn't get right to sleep even when I finally climbed into bed at 4 a.m.  I even scared myself with the baptismal jumpsuit that was hanging on the door to dry because it looked like a visitation to warn me I must repent of stupidity.   Poor pathetic creature that I am.
No, I did NOT take this picture at 4 a.m.  Do you think Elder Blain would properly institutionalized me?
 It is not fun being an anxious perfectionist because nothing being worked on is ever going to be good enough or quite ready yet--until the deadline hits and the "project" must be delivered in whatever state it ends up.  Though the final product is probably acceptable by most standards, it cannot ever meet my expectation and I pick it apart afterward until I manage to convince myself it was actually a semi-respectable flop.  It doesn't matter if anyone compliments me, since in my mind no one will really give honest feedback because they have to be nice.  We should have neutral evaluators so we know where we need to improve, not that it would kick me into a more reasonably efficient and sane mode of operation, I suppose.

Yes, I know all that stuff "they" say about being a proper speaker.  When it comes down to it in the Church, the thing is to prepare, pray, pray, pray, study, pray, ponder, pray, and cross your fingers (while praying) to be receptive to the Holy Ghost who WILL always pull you through for the edification of ourselves and others for His purposes.  Trust, faith, and relying on the Lord is the key.  Why cannot I not get that into my thick skull?  Probably because I have a thick skull (too vain and prideful).  A small voice in my head says,"Repent ye, repent ye!"  LOL (only thing left to do other than ramble on about this ridiculous subject of FOPS*).
                                                                                                                                                                                        *fear of public speaking

Why waste time with any more of this drivel?  SO many wonderful things happened this week that I must get busy downloading pictures and telling you all about them!  I hope you have ten days of uninterrupted time to view the pictures.

1 comment:

  1. So silly. You ALWAYS give great talks. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. ;-) I love the dress looking all spooky. That would have scared me too!! ;-)

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