What is that character doing on my street? Turning around and parking 243 times is suspicious activity in my mind. |
Driving in England is a complicated process. There are many tiny particulars that have never been thought of in the U.S. Perhaps we'd be more civilized and courteous if we did follow the Brits in some ways of doing things. Of course, the British have had centuries to come up with standards of conduct and how to do anything in the most complicated way. The U.S. is working on that, but we will probably never catch up.
Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh is the sound I hear a lot these days as Elder Blain practices push pull, push pull, push pull on the steering wheel whenever he turns it. With his large hands feeding the tiny steering wheel through, it is very apparent he is trying to learn to drive the English way, which is more difficult than the American way with the hand being able to be taken off the steering wheel and moved as a turn is made. There are so many little things Elder Blain has to pay attention to as the examiner (executioner) ticks off his little boxes and froths at the mouth for the opportunity catch him at something that will warrant a big red FAIL on the sheet. This will bring in more money when the driver retakes the test and maintains the superior status of the examiner. Meanwhile, the driver gets to keep driving until the next test (up to two years) even if he or she is a terrible driver.
The Dreaded Driver's (D.D.) test on the road is on Tuesday at 8:20 a.m. Please pray for Elder Blain. He is out at this very moment practicing how to drive. Tell me why someone who has driven for 60 years has to practice driving. He has driven almost five of those years in England, so why doesn't he know how to drive yet? He is practicing three point turns without hitting a curb while looking most of the time behind himself and glancing at both mirrors, spinning his head around like a top. Not to mention, he is supposed to stay in the skimpy lane on his side that is usually shared by traffic going both ways, since there isn't enough room in the lane to drive on your own side of the road when cars are parked, as they always are, on the side of the road.
We have removed our tiny turtle and Loon bobble heads from the dash of the car because we've been told they could fly around inside of the car and cause problems. Yes, even though they have survived being stuck to our dash through all the herky jerky things the car does, and the emergency stops every few minutes, they might suddenly decide to fly off and break his glasses and hit his eye causing a wreak. Those of you who know these two creatures we've had in our car for years are aware of how much bodily harm they could cause if they got dislodged. They are the most terrible of terrible threats. Look out for the dangerous turtle and Loon!
My concern for Elder Blain is his parking. If he hasn't got parallel parking down by now, I don't think he shall ever. Pray for a miracle when he has to do it on Tuesday. I don't think they'll give him 25 tries (a small exaggeration at his expense).
Because of his need to practice, which I cannot grasp, we 'ad a word or two today. I am focused on meeting deadlines for flat rentals, which need to happen so we can give thirty days notice or we go into another month. Since a deadline means to me a goal to be met, I am driven to meet it 'eck or 'igh water and his driving practice gets in the way. He says he needs Monday to practice so he'll be fresh for the test. Monday is a day for trying to meet a deadline. So, you can already smell some compromise in the air as he is out doing some practice this afternoon and I work to lighten the schedule.
His test IS scheduled in my diary (planner in the U.S.) I allocated time for him to take the test, but I was trying to find out how many hours he thinks he needs to practice when the conversation turned into more of an, er, disagreement. I am being accused of being obsessed (yeah, true) with the flat renting process and having no consideration for what is important to him. Guilty as charged. I can't help it if a deadline to him is flexible and we can go merrily on our way if we don't meet it until we eventually get a flat some month down the road. My idea of a deadline is "dead" line. Get it done or you're dead. All efforts were wasted and we start over from scratch--failure=F. I refuse to get bad grades!
ahuuuuuggggggghhhhhh) sound I hear? Gnashing of teeth and white hair flying in the air?
Oh, well, Happy Holidays from Tesco Home store:
No one can complain they are rushing Christmas since there is no Thanksgiving to skip here. |
finally finally the mystery is solved as to why o why i cannot parallel park, it's not in my genes... :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the frustration Ercel is feeling. When Michael and I were in London he had these horribly narrow roads to drive on with millions of cars and a bezillion signs to try to decipher while trying to get to Kent. Then after arriving in the country we hit roads so narrow only one small car could be in the lane built for two, passing was scary, and many times cars were parked on the side of the road making it really treacherous. I'll drive in America any day.
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