Christmas Cracker Jokes

My soul shall be joyful in the Lord:  it shall rejoice in his salvation.  Psalms 24:9 

Below are the jokes we collected from Christmas Crackers over the holiday. After the New Year celebration you won't have to tolerate them, but indulge me for now.  Don't peek at the answers at the bottom of the page until you've 'ad a good go at it.

1.  What type of room has no windows or doors?


2.  What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?


3.  Why did the strawberry get a lawyer?


4.  When is a boat like a pile of snow?


5.  How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?


6.  How do you make a jacket last?


7.  Where do sick gnomes go?


8.  What do you call a row of men waiting for a haircut?  (You may not guess this unless you are British or European)


9.   What did the policeman say to his stomach?


10.   Why did the chewing gum cross the road?


11. What must you know to be an auctioneer?


12. What is a vampires favourite food?


13.  Who invented fireworks?


14.  What gets bigger the more you take away?


15.  Which players can't you trust in an orchestra?


16.  Why is it not safe to sleep on train?  (You won't get this unless you are British or European)


17.  How do you save meatballs from drowning?


Trivia (sometimes added on the paper in the cracker) Q:  To the nearest million, what is the population of New Your City?


A Missionary Cartoon:

Answers:  

1. A mushroom  2. A stick  3. Because it was in a jam  4.When it's adrift  5. Deep and crisp and even  6. Make the trousers first! 7. To the Elf Centre  8. A barbecue (que is a waiting line) 9. You're under a vest  10. Because it was stuck to the chicken  11. Lots 12. Nectarines 13. Some bright spark 14. A hole 15. The fiddlers 16. Because they run over sleepers (railroad ties)  17. Put them in a gravy boat.  

A.  (for trivia) 15 million